The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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