yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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