so that wasnt chicken after all
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
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