since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
