Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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