We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
