DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
How does one acquire holy water?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
