Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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