I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
