she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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