As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
