why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
