I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
