i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
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