I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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