Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
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