that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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