Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
