I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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