if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
