I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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