I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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