Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
