omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
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