he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
