So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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