i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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