I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize