Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
