i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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