At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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