girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
