i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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