What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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