Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize