pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He passed out mid-signature
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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