it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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