so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
