I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
