...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
