as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
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