Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
