If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
