marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Randomize