My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize