he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
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