Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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