I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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