Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
