I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
