we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
