why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
