I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize