Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
