If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
