Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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