What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
