Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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