Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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