I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Randomize
