Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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