I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
