talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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