you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
