I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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