OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
