Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
