I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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