I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
we're making bets on your personal life
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
