I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
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