rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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