i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
